monday morning rambling...
I was awake at 5:30 today.
I couldn't sleep, too much going on in my head. My first feeling was of an overwhelming sense of how amazing my God is. This has been the most interesting year. I thought after I went through my abortion healing that life would just continue to go along, that there might be little revelations along the way but that the "major" work in my life was over. Ha, how arrogant we are, no...how arrogant I am! Daily God shows me things I need to work on. They may not be major in the "Upper Story" but they directly affect how my life plays out in relation to the Upper Story. This year has been on based on major healing, restoration and changes. I've shared most of these with you so far but there's more...there's a second chapter to the healing. I desire to share this with you but I need to get permissions first to share more. I can share this though...my son finally met his biological father. I truly believe he's a different man than the one I knew 20 years ago. I can already see healing going on in all the lives involved. Little did I know that our prayers for Cody's healing would be answered in this way but I also had no idea that I had a sister in Christ praying right along with me for Cody and for healing.
I'm also still struggling with stepping down from my job and the Beyond the Choice ministry at LCC but I know it's what I'm being called to do, if even just for a season. I work with some amazing women and I enjoy our clients and meeting new ones. I love seeing how God works in the lives of the clients, the volunteers and the employees. I hope to volunteer on projects and stay connected but I believe that God is preparing me for the time that being on MOPS steering and homeschooling will take next year. I also have my house to unpack and help with all our projects here! I can say honestly I love working on making this our home, side by side with my helpmate!
We may not get the gorgeous sunsets in our new home that we are accustomed to but the Lord shines on us every morning with breathtaking sunrises.
Sometimes it's an awesome reminder to me that His mercies are new each morning. I'm so glad that my God doesn't bring yesterday's offenses into this day!
The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.
lamentations 3:22-23 (NLT)
I couldn't sleep, too much going on in my head. My first feeling was of an overwhelming sense of how amazing my God is. This has been the most interesting year. I thought after I went through my abortion healing that life would just continue to go along, that there might be little revelations along the way but that the "major" work in my life was over. Ha, how arrogant we are, no...how arrogant I am! Daily God shows me things I need to work on. They may not be major in the "Upper Story" but they directly affect how my life plays out in relation to the Upper Story. This year has been on based on major healing, restoration and changes. I've shared most of these with you so far but there's more...there's a second chapter to the healing. I desire to share this with you but I need to get permissions first to share more. I can share this though...my son finally met his biological father. I truly believe he's a different man than the one I knew 20 years ago. I can already see healing going on in all the lives involved. Little did I know that our prayers for Cody's healing would be answered in this way but I also had no idea that I had a sister in Christ praying right along with me for Cody and for healing.
The rest of my thoughts this morning seem to pale in comparison but are just as much a part of my life.
I've begun thinking about what my next race will be. I've not run in so long that the 3 miles I did run last week really beat my body up but felt wonderful at the same time. For almost three years, on and off, I've been struggling with exhaustion. Not just tired but complete and total exhaustion. Some days it's an effort to just pick up my arms and I live in a fog of just existing till I can go to bed. This was mostly gone when I was running. (see there are connections in my broken thoughts) and has come back with even greater vengeance since I stopped running in December. I'm not depressed but I've been heading toward depression because of my hopelessness in how I feel. We just switched Dr.'s and after listening to my symptoms she ordered blood work to cover the bases and told me to read a certain book. I was thrilled that her 1st response was not to write a prescription! The book is called When Your Body Gets the Blues and upon reading the symptoms and an excerpt from the book I have hope that I can feel better again. I know one of the most important things I can do is get running again. I've begun to set a major goal with some minor goals along the way. I know I want to do something BIG next year, after I turn 40. I'm thinking of an ultra as my ultimate goal (and I'll try not to talk everyone's ear off about running this time...I'll try but my blog is fair game!) with a 1/2 and a marathon along the way. I'm feeling that excitement about running coming back again. My husband may even train with me again, not for the ultra but maybe a marathon...Oh do I hear Big Sur calling again :) You just never know!!
I'm also still struggling with stepping down from my job and the Beyond the Choice ministry at LCC but I know it's what I'm being called to do, if even just for a season. I work with some amazing women and I enjoy our clients and meeting new ones. I love seeing how God works in the lives of the clients, the volunteers and the employees. I hope to volunteer on projects and stay connected but I believe that God is preparing me for the time that being on MOPS steering and homeschooling will take next year. I also have my house to unpack and help with all our projects here! I can say honestly I love working on making this our home, side by side with my helpmate!
We may not get the gorgeous sunsets in our new home that we are accustomed to but the Lord shines on us every morning with breathtaking sunrises.
Sometimes it's an awesome reminder to me that His mercies are new each morning. I'm so glad that my God doesn't bring yesterday's offenses into this day!
The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.
lamentations 3:22-23 (NLT)
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