the other side of the story...

In May (posting dated May 24th) I blogged about forgiveness, forgiveness I never thought I'd feel. Forgiveness that came directly from God. The strength to forgive that came only from trusting in Christ.  This past week I've witnessed a new level of forgiveness that only comes through Christ's leading.

My son came to me and asked me to help him get in contact with his biological father. Now there's a time I would have really freaked out at that but God had been preparing me since May for this. I knew a door had been opened, I just didn't know who would be the first to step through it. Of course, was my response. I prayed my request to him would be met with willingness.  It was immediate acceptance of my request to meet with my son. So after not seeing him for 17 years, Cody went to meet him.

Here's the part that is completely God...it happened on Father's Day

It was a surreal evening. I dropped my son off at restaurant that they had prearranged to meet at. I saw his aunt sitting there and I deeply wanted to go say hi to her but knew I couldn't do that yet. I was ok up till that point. I fell apart on the way home. It was the single biggest thing I've had to do toward letting go of him, letting him grow up and make his own decisions. I wanted to be there. I wanted to protect him and frankly a part of me wanted to be there to defend my actions from years before. I called an old dear friend, who's walked a similar path, to try to calm down. I knew she'd understand the fears I was facing, the protectiveness, the deep worry for my son's peace of mind, spirit, heart. As the hours ticked by I got more anxious till he finally let me know to come pick him up. Praying brought me a lot of peace that evening but with not knowing how he was doing I was having a hard time setting aside my worry. 

As Randy and I pulled into the parking lot to pick up Cody there stood his other grandparents. Grandparents I'd kept Cody away from. A whole side of a family I walked away from. I was scared to death to get out of the car but Randy encouraged me to go say hi. I was humbled that she walked up to me with open arms and took me in an embrace. There was no anger or resentment towards me from her or her husband. I got to see the forgiveness of God coming through them towards me now. We talked for some time about the years and how they kept Cody close to their hearts' in prayers. I found out Cody's aunt had been able to keep up on what he was doing through a friend of his. She came to his wrestling matches and his graduation. We all found it very odd that in all the years none of us ran into each other. I have to remember that God's ways are higher!  Cody said it was a very good evening and that he'd like to get to further know him. I could see a new peace in him at finally having some of his questions answered. 

I woke the next morning with an email from Cody's aunt. As I laid there reading it, tears flowing, I couldn't help but think just how amazing my God is. I was going to include lines of it but with permission I'm going to include most of it here. It's not often God allows you to see the other side of something He's asked you to do. 

I read your faith blog and cried. I read the one about May 24th and if you are willing to read, I have a lot to share with you about what your obedience to the Holy Spirt led to. I have been praying for my brother for years. His soul was lost and so was he. He had come to know Christ in his journey through life but somewhere along the path wander away. I am part of a cell group and we have been praying for him since well since I started going to this group. He had people praying for him that he did not even know, and that did not even know him. 
On the night of May 24 He called me and told me exactly what happened in the courtroom that day and said to me, " I don't know what to do, or what to say, or anything." I said to him we should pray and thank God for the miracle he had given him and the forgiveness he was granted. I asked him if he was willing that I think we needed to pray as a group with the leaders of my prayer group. He was willing, I called my friends and they agreed to have us over and pray with us. We sat he talked we listened, we cried, he cried. He continued to say, "I do not know what to do, or how to react or what to make of all this." One of the leaders, told him that God was pouring love into him and was creating him a testimony. For a long time, he was resistant and dead set against coming back to a life with Christ. He wanted to get things straight, and clean up his mess...That was the night that it was perfectly clear to him that God wanted a relationship with him and he was to come as he was. As we were closing up the evening they asked if I would open us in prayer. I thanked God for bringing him home because it was clear to me that God brought him home so he could surround him with Christians and Godly people and show him his goodness and I knew it was God's doing because he was seeking out his child who was lost. The leaders prayed, then there was a long silence and we all still had our heads bowed praying silently, and all of a sudden a shaky voice broke the silence. "Hi God, It's me...I know we haven't talked in awhile. But I saw you today. I know you were there in that courtroom, I know it was you who laid the forgiveness of my debt on Kirsten's heart. I saw you today, I saw you in Kirsten and I saw your face. I know they left the back door open so that the debt could be revisited if she so desired, but I know I will never see that debt again, because it was you that forgave it and it was you that laid that on Kirsten and her family's heart to forgive me that debt. Tonight I pray for Kirsten, Cody, her husband and their family. Please give her peace, and calmness in knowing she followed your direction. I have really messed up a lot of things in my life. I have hurt a lot of people and made some really bad decisions, but I want to come back...I want to come home....I want a relationship with you. I am not perfect and I will make mistakes but I want to come back." as we closed in prayer when we all raised our heads we were all crying. We witnessed a miracle that day, we saw God move, he re-dedicated his life to Christ that night. I have shared this story with believers and non believers, I have witnessed God touch people through this story by sharing this story of Grace. By you following the direction of the Holy Spirit, God has changed lives. On the night of the 24th, he prayed that if it was Gods will, that he would have an opportunity to restore a relationship with Cody. Today, I witnessed another miracle. I watched the two of them shake hands and I saw my brother cry again and again I saw God move. 
I would like to thank you for being a strong enough Christian to allow God to speak to you and for you to follow him. He is changing lives and he has allowed me to witness it. It wasn't very long ago that I asked God to "use" me and I continued to pray that he would and by allowing me to witness his hand at work in all of this, he has allowed me to share a wonderful story of Grace. He is moving Kirsten, and thank you for allowing him to use you also. I admire you for taking the steps to initiate contact with my brother for Cody.  I have been in the very same situation you described about looking over your shoulder and always being scared. I knew that was the case with the way he treated you a long time ago, that was why our family did not reach out and did not interfere with you and Cody's life. I did come to see Cody wrestle, I did come to Cody's graduation. I did my best to keep tabs on him through mutual friends. I did watch from afar, but I always kept you two in my prayers because I knew what the situation was. I commend you for moving forward in faith and knowing that God will protect you and always has your back. If you are willing, I would like to have a relationship with you as a sister in Christ. You are a strong and God is Good, all the time. 

Cody and his biological father after 17 years. I'm glad his sister captured this moment! 

This is not a journey I could have imagined that April day when the first letter from court came. I have witnessed God move, heal, restore. It's humbling to me that God has used us in this way and that He's allowed me to witness the impact that day in court has had on many lives. 

Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.  

1 corinthians 13:13

Through my husband, through my past, through my children, God is showing me what love is...thank you Aba!