Anyway, as normal I digress. So we're heading out on the 40 minute drive back "home" to drop him off and to pick up my car from our mechanic, that broke down there two weeks ago, and I can't help but feel a bit of sadness that I'll have a car again. I know, sounds weird, right? But it's been really nice having to look at my schedule and say, "Nope, sorry I just can't do this we only have one car" or think, this is very important and we need to take the van for this. Oh and can I say I've gotten spoiled driving my little 4 cyl 5 speed. Putting gas in the van is killing me even just the little I'm driving it. So I get in the car, thinking it will be nice to have it back but now I'm going to have to just learn to say NO because I've just enjoyed the extra time home. Oh to digress just a little...the house LOOKS like I've been stranded for two weeks. It's amazing what you get done when you're not running all the time.
So I put the key in, it turns over, starts to purr then chokes, coughs, sputters and dies. I tried the key a couple more times before getting my hubby to come play with it. He couldn't get it going either. I have a mix bag of feelings on this.
Since July we've had a broken down car or van three times now, breaking down in Owego each time. I joke that Owego's mad we moved away but as my husband has said, we think God's trying to get my attention. Through some deep prayer I was lead in the spring to quit the part time job I had in a ministry I loved and to back out of a bunch of stuff I was involved in. As I was heading into fall the only thing I now had a commitment to was MOPS and this is my last year on steering. I've filled the free time back up with activities for Esther. Between the flood and extra activities, we've been running since September without much break. Driving exhausts me, wears me down and by the weekend I'm wiped out. I have respect for those that drive for a living because I couldn't do it!
I have received much rest the last two weeks. I did not realize the extent that I was run down. Yes, we're still doing activities but not like before. I am able to get up at 6 am again, without issue, and have my pre-family-awake devotional time. Esther and I get her classes done and then we dive into the house. Upstairs finally looks great (except for the construction going on but it's exciting to see what the rooms will be like when we're done). I'm feeling my creativity and joy coming back to life. I'm finally looking forward to the holiday season again and I can't wait till the day we renew our vows.
It was with mixed feelings that we drove away from the garage without my car. We half joke that there must still be work to do at home. However, Randy and I have seen God's hand in our lives too many times to not see that there is a reason I'm still without a car.
Lord, I pray for wisdom and guidance as I face the tasks of the next week, to know where you desire me to stand by my commitments and where I should step away. Mostly, I want to say Thank you, for the peace and understanding that it will all work out, the way it's meant to.